This is your captain speaking.
Flight time to Nice will be 7 hours 30 minutes.
Flight attendants will be coming by with complimentary beverages.
Excuse me.
We'll be flying at an altitude of 31000 feet.
- Hello. - Relax and enjoy your flight.
Excuse me. Hey there!
Mom! Do you mind?
Emergency exit's 13D, sweetie.
Great. Got it. Thanks, Dad.
Excuse me. 3 chardonnays, please.
No, nothing for me. I always remain alert in flight.
Me neither. Thank you.
Just the 3 then.
I am so proud of you, sweetie.
A lot of women who just got dumped
would have backed out of this vacation.
But not you.
Thanks, Dad, but I didn't get dumped. It wasn't like that.
It was mutual. - Yes.
They agreed to part ways. When he dumped her.
I thought it was because he needed space.
No, he just didn't find her spontaneous enough.
Too safe. Predictable.
I am sitting right here. I can hear you.
He tried to get you to go bungee-jumping.
You wouldn't do it.
I have a thing about heights and a rule about vomiting in public.
I think that's perfectly reasonable.
Too many rules, dear.
There's nothing wrong with being cautious, sweetie.
Safety is sexy.
First time your mother and I made love...
we managed to keep our seatbelts on the entire time.
Wasn't easy-
Dad, what did I just say about vomiting in public?
Change seats.
And the emergency exit is?
13D. Trust me, I know where it is.
I'm about to throw myself out of it.
I got a visual on him now.
Target confirmed. I know the drill.
You have until 5PM to deliver the package...
then the boss wants you to close the account.
Yeah, yeah. I will have his final bill ready to go.
You have my wife and I on the 2nd floor
and my daughter on the 3rd...
when I specifically booked adjacent rooms.
I assure you your room is lovely, Mister Kornfeldt.
Lovely and adjacent are not the same thing.
She's a single woman, all alone.
Recently single. I am not always alone.
Dad, the room is fine. Can you drop it?
Do you know how many push-in robberies happen in hotels?
3rd floor. We'd like an ocean view.
Always the same thing with the rooms.
Let Daddy do his thing. Little Frenchman'll cave.
He's a weasel-face like you-know-who.
Richard. I'm talking about Richard.
I know, Mother.
We're not discussing him anymore, remember?
Right. He's dead to us.
Yes.
So it never bothered you that he had kind of a womanly butt?
What?
No, he did not.
Forget I said anything.
I do not speak French.
Excuse me. We resolved the problem.
I'm gonna go check on my room. You and Daddy figure this out.
You want a little Maalox for the road?
Wouldn't it be easier just to humor me?
I don't speak French.
Yeah, no, I got it the first time.
Why were you pretending back there?
I don't know. Why did you follow me?
I was already going to the beach. Remember?
Yeah, well, I could be going swimming, too.
Are you?
No.
I'm just gonna go marinate in shame.
I'm Spencer, by the way.
It's nice to meet you, Spencer.
Do you have a name?
Jen. Jennifer. Sometimes Jenny. No, it's Jen.
It's just Jen.
I'm gonna go swimming. Before it gets dark.
Yes. Of course. Muscles like that take some upkeep.
Do you want to get a drink with me tonight?
Yeah. I don't have anything better to do, so why not?
Great.
I'll see you at Stella Maris at sunset.
Unless you have something better to do.
No way.
Cute dress.
I didn't pack a single cute dress?
Oh God. Thank God I have all my socks.
Gotta find a dress.
Thank you.
We knocked on your door several times.
I can't believe you're missing this.
I know, Dad, I'm sorry, it's just my stomach is going crazy.
We'll come back right away with saltines and ginger ale.
No! Stay put, I'm fine.
Don't be a hero, sweetie.
Dad, trust me, you don't want to be a part of this.
Darling? At least you'll look thin on the beach.
You sure you're gonna be alright?
Yes. You and Mom go. Have fun without me.
Hey!
You're gonna find the perfect guy.
Someone who is good and decent and kind.
Who doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body.
Oh God!
You picked the perfect table.
Please.
I had to atone for being late so-
Oh. Too bad I hate champagne.
- Um, I'm sorry, d- please, l- just go. - I was joking.
It was a joke.
That was a joke.
I am a dating robot.
Sent here to observe your ways.
You just pulled a robot voice.
Oh my.
Alright, don't worry.
There's a certain segment of the population
that goes over big for that sort of thing.
Yeah. Nerds. They're my bread and butter.
Yeah?
How's that workin' out for you?
Oh God. Shit.
Oh!
Hmm, this isn't at all what I wanted.
Oh. - How 'bout you?
I don't know.
What are we eating? Are you alright?
All I want is a baked potato.
Okay.
Hi.
Are you on the lam?
Do you see that guy?
Over by the menus?
Freakishly tall, excellent moustache.
Okay. - Hmm, no.
We do need to sit down somewhere.
That is a gorgeous moustache.
Well, he, um- He's a Russian diplomat.
Also kind of a pervert.
Sat next to him on the plane.
Got a little grabby.
Really? W-w-w-w- Women don't like grabby?
That's- I'm gonna have to change my whole M.O.
I also heard him in the hotel trying to get the room next to mine.
Which is kinda weird.
I hope you switched rooms.
Oh, no, no.
No, I like to live on the edge.
Dangerous weirdos, spicy food, bungee-jumping.
Oh, now, d-d-dangerous weirdos and spicy foods.
But bungee-jumping?
I mean, it's almost never sexy to puke in public.
That's what I said!
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, it's really nice down here and all...
but my bet is that they're gone.
So, shall we?
Sure. Okay.
So shall we order?
You know what?
Let's get out of here.
The service is awful.
And... I need to show you Nice.
You realize I'm gonna make you tell me your whole life story.
Trust me, it's boring.
Want some of mine?
Oh, no, no, I'm, actually, I really don't drink that much.
I should, slow down.
What do you do?
Me? Consulting.
I'm a consultant.
For a company. Company consulting.
Lately, we've been doing a lot of downsizing.
I travel a lot...
Downsizing. People.
Oh. Well, if you could do anything, y'know,
anything in the world, what would you do?
I just think it'd be nice to put down some roots.
You know?
I've actually always wanted to know my neighbors.
I've never had that before.
That's actually pretty beautiful.
You're pretty beautiful.
It's the dress, I...
It's not the dress.
You'd be beautiful without the dress.
Not that I'm visualizing you naked.
Uh, well, al-although I'm sure you would look beau-
I'm saying that you would... be...
beautiful clothed differently as well.
Yeah, thank you, I do need another.
Why don't I get you another?
Okay.
Don't leave. - I won't.
S-stay put. Mmm.
Okay, fine. I will dance with you.
I'm sorry, what?
You almost ripped out of your dress to try to seduce me.
- It worked. Come. We dance. - Oh. No, no, I was just-
Okay, maybe just for a minute. Wow.
Oh. Wow. Oh.
Wow, you are a very enthusiastic dancer.
Oh. Oh, this- Oh, God.
Uh, this is very nice, but I, I should really get back to my date.
Now I blow your mind. Don't move.
Oh, now you're gonna blow my mind.
Oh. Oh, God. Oh, I think I felt that.
Excuse me. I'm gonna cut in.
Back off, Yankee.
Go find your own prostitute.
Oh no. No, you're misunderstanding.
L-I'm sorry, I am not a pros-
Let's go.
Does this dress say "prostitute"?
No.
It's not really. It's just it's, it's, maybe.
Wait. Just Jen.
Yes?
Just Jen.
Yes?
There's something that I've been wanting to do all night.
Your tag was still on.
Oh no! - Sorry.
- No... no, no, oh, uh. Oh, God. - No, no, it's okay. It's okay.
No, it's, l- I can't afford this dress.
L-I left the tag on 'cause I can't afford it.
Not unless my father buys it for me,
which- he wouldn't, 'cause he's not here.
It's okay. Wait. It's fine.
God. - Are you okay?
No, I can't breathe. This is so tight.
Uh! God, you know what?
I'm sorry, I can't keep this up. I am not this girl.
I'm not spontaneous.
I never drink this much.
And I don't live on the edge.
I, I live a very quiet, normal life.
I would like a normal life. I'd kill for a normal life.
Well just it, it gets, it gets worse, just-
You know that guy at the restaurant with the moustache?
Uh, the Russian pervert.
That's my Dad.
Wow.
Yeah.
Sounds like a really bad home situation.
No, no! Oh, God, no!
He's not Russian. Or, or, or a pervert.
He's a, he's a pilot.
You know, he flies planes.
I, I came on vacation with my parents.
That's how lame I am.
I was supposed to come here with my geek boyfriend,
but he dumped me for this girl in the-
Sorry. Go ahead.
I can't breathe.
This dress is really, really tight.
Okay.
I need to get out of it.
Seriously, I've been sucking it in all night.
Can you just-? You gotta get it off. Just take it off.
Really? - Yeah. Take it off.
- Okay. Alright. - Yeah. Let's do this.
It's-Um. It's, the, the zipper's just stuck.
Just break it. It's fine. My father will pay for it.
Break it? - Yeah. Break it.
Alright, here, just, just turn, just, stay st- don't-
Oh, my God!
I, um.
Here. Just-
Thanks, uh.
I'll be- I'm gonna be over here.
Okay.
Doing this. This manner. Hmm.
Thank you for... being so honest.
I actually feel like I should share something with you.
It's gonna be really hard to say.
But I feel like you're real.
So I want to be real with you.
Never really told anybody this before, but...
I kill people.
Wow. You're taking this a lot better than I expected.
Awesome.
I mean, usually, it's bad people,
it's not like I'm out, out killing good guys.
I'm not a murderer.
The- I'm a professional.
I, I professionally kill people.
You're a great listener.
Excellent listener.
I don't like what I do.
Not a fan of it. But I like you.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna show you Nice.
And hopefully, that's just the beginning.
'Cause I like you.
That was really heartfelt I'm having a really good time.
Maybe a marzipan mushroom.
I'm sorry, we're on a date now.
Oh my God! This is really good.
You should take a bite.
Go ahead and try it. I'm not gonna eat it all.
I might eat it all if you don't eat some of it.
Mmm. Mmm.
Good Lord!
French food.
Mmmmm. Mmm. You should try that.
I'm going to, uh, I'm just gonna go to the restroom.
Okay.
It's a crush, Spence, it happens.
Go shoot some guns and screw some models.
You'll be good as new.
Then will I kill some more people?
They're enemies of the state, not people.
Are you sure about that?
'Cause five years ago Leveneux worked for us.
And then the NSA and then God knows who else.
But this week he's the enemy.
What the hell's wrong with you?
You go screw Pollyanna for a week and suddenly...
your life's work's out the window?
She's normal.
And I feel normal when I'm with her.
And maybe I want... - Wake up!
Her world only exists because of people like us.
And I'm sorry if people change sides.
Sometimes a friend becomes an enemy
and you have to take them out.
She trusts me.
And I'm not willing to compromise that.
You know these jobs are not optional, Spencer.
You don't get to just walk away.
Watch me.
You are who you are, Spencer.
You can't change that.
I think the best part is you're finally with someone
who's genuinely at tractive.
I know. I know.
I keep thinking I'm gonna build up some kind of tolerance
to his physical god like perfection.
But it just hasn't happened yet.
Hmm? - Oh, no.
Okay. It's a little early, Mom.
Early?
You think they're alright out there?
Oh, as long as Daddy doesn't shoot him, we're good.
So I hear you're jobless.
Corporate consulting's a tough business, sir.
Yo, Jen and I were talking about, uh, putting some roots down.
I might open up my own firm here.
Look at my shoes.
They're Edward Green.
I picked 'em up twenty years ago,
when I was still flying the London route.
If you have something of great quality
and you take good care of it, you'll have it forever.
I know you're worried about Jen.
Why would I worry?
I'm confident...
that you'll never hurt her.
That's a nice shot.
Thank you. I was an Eagle Scout.
They really let you shoot stuff in the Boy Scouts?
So do the Marines.
Ah. Semper Fi.
- That was yours. - I'm s- I, I thought you were still
Be prepared, Spencer. You would have learned that...
in the Boy Scouts.
I was in 4-H.
You know, Jen's not some fragile China doll.
She's funny
and she's sweet and she's smart...
but in this kind of an off-kilter way where,
where one minute she can be
talking about the strategic value of Nice in World War Two
and the next she's telling me that Cary Grant dropped acid.
Which... l- But, b- the- my point is,
it doesn't matter what she says, I can trust her.
I depend on her, sir, it's not the other way around.
So, with your blessing, I'm going to marry her.
Welcome to the family, Spencer.
Thank you, Mister Kornfeldt.
Please, call me "sir".
How big is it?
Oh, it's big. It's probably the biggest on the block.
Well, have I ever seen anything like it before?
Uh, maybe in a magazine. Or in your dreams.
Will I know what to do with it?
Uh, I'll help you navigate the tricky parts.
Mmm. God.
Greedy! Greedy!
It's this blindfold, it's making me Sorry.
Ow! Honey! - Oh, sorry.
I didn't- Um-Mmm.
Prepare to be thrilled.
Oh!
Oh my God. Spence. You remodeled my office.
It's so organized.
Okay. You can kiss... me now.
Hmm.
How'd I get so lucky?
How did I get a guy like you?
It was easy. It was your charm.
And your wit.
You really should not be spoiling me.
Especially since it's your birthday weekend.
God. No, we talked about this.
We're not gonna make a big deal out of it this year.
No presents, no parties?
It's just dinner tomorrow night with my parents, I promise,
but I never agreed to no presents.
Come on, I have been keeping this secret for a week.
I'm at my limit.
You kill me.
Mmm.
Open dated tickets to Nice.
I thought we could go back to where it began, you know?
And the best part is we can go any time,
but because I rule,
I got two weeks off at the end of the month.
What?
Do you not want to go to Nice?
Of course I do.
L- it's- th- things are hectic at work right now.
And it, we, uh, we have a, a lot goin' on here.
Plus the Peach Parade is at the end of the month
and you were gonna make your cobbler, so-
My cobbler sucks.
You know what made Nice great?
You.
I have everything that I need right here.
Hmm.
Oh.
Hey, batter batter batter batter!
Hey, batter batter batter!
Let's go! Pick up the pace!
Hey, Spence!
Here you go block party.
Oh, great.
Bring your pudding.
Thank you. - Oh, hey, Spencer!
Oh! - Hey!
Hey! - Lily and Mac.
Hey! - Yeah.
Hey! I'm glad we caught you.
Ah! Block party. - Block party.
So you comin'? - Alright.
Yeah!
And you guys can dress up.
Perfect. - Okay.
Alright.
Here, you know what? Here's another one.
Yeah. We're gonna have those wings.
Great! - Bring the Mrs.
That's got a little bit of my spit on it.
Don't clone me.
Okay, we're gonna go make love.
You have fun.
Okay. - Take care.
- We'll see you there. - Have a good one.
Block party. Block! Party!
So it's up to code.
Put your fannies into it, fellas.
Badge, please.
Our new Norton Internet Security suite
has SONAR behavior-based protection
that defends against any unknown online threats,
so be sure to flag that feature for undecided clients.
Okay, people, you heard her.
We're rolling this out immediately, so, uh, let's hop to it.
Jen.
Polished and concise. As always.
Thank you.
Don't change a word when you go to San Francisco.
You want me to speak at the conference?
No. I want you to dominate it.
Okay. Alright.
You fly out tomorrow.
Oh, but Mister Nootbar, tomorrow's- um,
well, it's, it's such short notice.
There's no one else you can send?
Dude! So cool, yeah.
We should go online...
The conference isn't till Monday.
Just take the weekend to prep. You'll be fine.
Okay.
Of course, I didn't say that it was Spencer's birthday.
Because it is extremely unprofessional
to turn down a business trip to babysit your husband,
birthday or not.
And that's why I didn't mention it.
Can you take him out tonight or not?
Hello? Dad?
If I have to.
Love you, sweetie.
I love you too, bye.
No, no, it's too low.
Can you lift the back one up? An inch?
- Right, no, right, right there. - Vivian.
- Perfect. - Can you come in tomorrow?
I'm s- uh- Mildred's having trouble with the billing again.
Saturday, Mildred and bills. A trifecta...
I'm sorry. Thank you. - Fine.
What do you think about this thing?
Well, Henry says it's a statement piece.
Yeah, but is it stating that we like ugly shit
hanging from our ceiling?
Yup.
Yup, what?
Yes, you turned our conference room
in to Bambi's nightmare.
Yeah... I know.
Hey, listen, do me a favor,
grab some flooring samples for Olivia, alright?
Something durable that cleans up easy.
Case we decide to have sex on the floor.
Of course.
You're worried she'll vomit.
Oh.
I like her even more when she's mean to me.
You're gonna get me a lawsuit.
Probably.
She gets aggravated, though, you know,
when I flirt with other women. That's what it is.
You do realize that only happens in pornos.
Yeah! The good pornos.
I'm gonna give her a shot.
Soon as I'm done letting Olivia do dirty things to me.
Well, that's gonna take a while.
Olivia's a bigger slut than you are.
Hey are we gonna pretend to play basketball tonight or what?
No can do. I got dinner with Jen.
I think I just saw your balls roll by.
Yeah, you wanna go catch 'em for me?
Uh! Just crushed it.
Just crushed one of your balls right there.
Thanks, buddy. We'll see ya.
Call me Ball Crusher from now on.
So? How'd it go?
Too good.
Nootbar is sending me to San Francisco.
No, no. Not the presentation. Spencer's gift.
What'd he say about the trip?
He wants to stay home and eat cobbler.
No vacation sex? No French getaway?
No.
Who in their right mind turns down a vacation like that?
Well, you know Spence. He's kind of a homebody.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
How long have you two been married?
What, like, three years?
Yeah. - Okay. Mmm.
That's your problem.
I have a problem?
Everyone always talks about the seven-year-itch.
But no one mentions the three-year snooze.
People get complacent.
Get relaxed. But you have to be vigilant.
Okay, otherwise you're growing out your leg hair,
you're growing out your down-there hair,
and you're wearing your fat jeans and a pair of Spanx.
Okay? And the next thing you know,
he runs off with a reality TV star named Shonda.
Okay? And that's my personal experience,
but I'm telling you, you better watch out,
because Shonda speaks six languages.
And one of those languages is sex.
Are you gonna eat that?
Gettin' the hungs. Super hungs over here.
Peach Plaza Motel.
Uh, yes, I'm trying to reach a guest named...
Sir?
Yes, um, uh, the guest's name Annabell Hensler?
Just a moment.
Well took you long enough. We need to meet.
It's not gonna happen Annabell.
You know I get that you love being the soft suburban zombie.
But like I told you three years ago in Nice,
you just can't walk away from this game.
I got a job for you, kiddo.
I'm out.
You're gonna have to find somebody else to clean up your mess.
My mess? If you don't do this job, it'll be your mess.
I'm in room one one four. I'll be waiting for you.
Just do what I'm telling you.
Spencer.
Spencer? - Hey!
Spencer?
Did you just hang up on someone?
No.
Jen's tied up at work,
so I'm supposed to do something nice for your birthday.
So here I am.
I'm going to feed you.
Boy. That's great.
But, really, I can just, I can grab something real quick-
You saying you'd rather eat alone?
No. Course not. L- Let's break some bread.
Who's H?
My old boss.
Just, uh, asked me if I want my old job back.
He sent you hugs. And kisses.
Yup. It's a French thing.
Y'know. You know, always kissing.
Fruits.
I can't take you to dinner dressed like a street urchin,
so we'll stop by your house and pick up adult apparel.
I'll leave my car here.
I will meet you out front.
Hmm.
What's with you?
You're like a chained rhesus monkey at the wheel.
Just excited about the two of us grabbin' dinner, huh?
You and Mrs K still thinking about going on that cruise?
Yes.
Where, where are you gonna go?
I really think that's up to the captain, Spencer.
What's with you kids?
Jen shouldn't be coming home to a dark house.
It's not safe.
Couldn't agree with you more, sir.
Did I leave my keys in the truck?
I am not telepathic, Spencer.
Maybe I'm just-
This is not Candy Land. Unlocked trucks get stolen.
Which is why careful men use the garage.
Thank you, sir.
Keys are in the ignition.
Surprise!
Happy birthday, Spence!
Yeah! Yeah!
- Happy birthday, Spencer! - You got me good.
Okay.
Happy birthday.
I told you I wouldn't throw you a party on...
On my birthday.
Right, okay, that's very cute.
Not what you were expecting, right?
No.
Okay alright. I'm a, I, you know,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna run upstairs and change really quick okay?
Okay we'll be down here waiting when you come back.
Okay.
Surprise!
Good job, Daddy!
Good evening, Peach Plaza Motel.
Yes, can you connect me with Annabell Hensler please?
One moment.
No answer, sir.
Do you want to leave a message?
No, no, no message.
Well, I got a lot of work goin' on and that,
so I don't know if I'm gonna make it this year-
We should hang out more.
We should. - Yeah.
We should. I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick.
Yeah, uh, uh, I'll join you.
Okay. Yeah, just... - Mama!
Oh, sweetheart!
Oh dear, I was just telling Jen
how you are gonna come over tomorrow.
We can't let you spend your birthday alone.
I got the block party.
Oh. - So... Nah.
We could come with you.
Yeah! - Yeah, yeah? Yeah?
Perfect. - Yeah?
Great. - Yeah.
- Spence! Gr-Beer! - I'm comin', ya lush!
Oh, Henry might be staying the night.
Uh huh.
I'm tellin' ya, smoke on the water, this chick was electrified.
Pow! Stamp! Pop! Woo!
Okay.
I need to get a fill up.
Uh huh.
You got something there you think I might like?
I'll see you guys in a minute.
Or something you might like? It's your party.
You get to have whatever you want.
Uh, this is wine.
Having fun?
I like wine.
Ah, mmm hm, I'll, I'll go open it.
I'll be here with a birthday kiss when you get back.
I just hope that it was a good surprise, you know?
I mean, he seems kind of distracted.
Well, he wasn't expecting a house full of people.
Cut him some slack.
Maybe Kristen is right about the three-year thing.
You would tell me, right?
You wouldn't sugarcoat it, 'cause with things like that,
it's just better to know, I mean... my legs aren't hairy,
but I have been in my fat jeans for the last two weeks,
which may be why he would rather stay home
and make cobbler than go on vacation with me and, God!
I really am freakin' out.
What's going on with you guys?
You got her all freaked out at lunch.
Are you still having sex with Spencer, yes or no?
Yeah, all the time.
Then your marriage is fine.
Guys, can we please play charades now? Come on.
Whoo! Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Sure you're alright?
Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.
Oh, God.
Night. Night, Spence. - Alright.
- Okay. Maybe you sh... - Watch your ste-ep!
Night, Je- Ow! - Walk home!
Maybe he shouldn't be driving.
Ah. He's fine.
Ohhhh.
Ahhhh. No, no, babe, I got it.
No, honey, no, I got it.
I'll put, I'll put the house to bed. You go to start packing.
Babe, it's your birthday.
- I got it. It's fine. - Are you sure?
Yeah.
Okay. Just do the bare minimum. I'll get the rest in the morning.
I love you.
Thanks, sweetheart, I love you.
Where are your pants?
Is something wrong?
Huh? No, of course not.
Are you sure? I mean, is everything okay between us?
You're kidding, right?
Come here.
Hmm. - Come here.
It's fine.
Mmph.
Maybe I could skip the Kornfeldt packing method
just this once.
Your flight's early. You should keep packing.
I should have just told Nootbar I'd go tomorrow,
I feel terrible missing your birthday.
No worries. I got another one next year.
Hmm.
Well, hold on, hold on. You need your birthday kiss.
Mmm.
Okay.
We don't want the neighbors to get jealous.
Throwin' a little porno in the driveway.
Don't want you to be late for the airport.
Gotta get you goin'. - Okay.
Miss your flight. Here we go.
Ooh! Hey, Jen!
Jen! Hey!
Jen?
Hey, Jackie.
You're up early for a party animal.
Ah yeah, I'm just running off to the airport.
My Dougie says it's a good thing we're such sound sleepers,
because, you know, a lot of other people
might have an issue with all that noise.
Hmm.
Anyhow, uh, Dougie wants to talk to Spence
about this whole fence-on- the-property-line brouhaha
we're having.
We don't want to bring lawyers into it any more than you do.
Right? But we're quite sure
our new fence is not on your land.
You know, you understand.
Oh, yeah, perfectly, of course, but you understand
you're gonna have to take it up with Spence, right?
Okay, thanks, Jackie,
I'm sorry, I'm in such a big rush... see you soon!
Oh, right, okay you're late.
Hey. D'you guys have fun last night?
Oh, yeah, it was great. Course, I'm paying for it this morning.
You're still taking Spence out tonight though, right?
Yes, for the hundredth time.
Good. Okay, did Daddy promise to be nice to him?
Mmm. Not in so many words.
Just get yourself on the plane.
Let us take care of Spence, okay?
Okay, well, I'll call you when I get to San Francisco. Love you.
Love you, too, June Bug.
Mmm.
Call Cass...
Lorelei, see if she wants to go to the park again.
Okay.
Oh. What was that? You or me?
That's me.
That's you. Here you go.
You got any milk?
Yeah.
Everything alright?
Yeah.
What do I got? I got skim milk.
And I've got some low fat yoghurt.
You know what you can do? You can mix the two together-
What the hell are you doing, man?
Should've seen your face.
You almost crapped your pants.
Yeah, it's really funny.
What are you doing?!
Killing you, buddy.
Where you going Spence? Huh?
Got s... You got a gun upstairs or somethin'?
Surprise! I'm back!
Spence?
What are you doing?!
Spencer, stop it! Stop, you're hurting him!
I need you to get me something.
Stop it!
It's upstairs, in the bedside table, there's a Glock fortyfive.
A Glot?
It's a gun! Just go get it!
Why do you have a gun?!
Just get it!
Okay!
Oh, God! Okay.
Jen!
Alright, I'm, I'm coming, I'm coming!
I kinda need you to hurry!
Okay!
- Okay! I'm here! - Okay, stay right there.
Good job, honey, now...
I need you to point the gun at him and shoot him in the face.
What?! - Don't do it!
He's gone crazy! It's a psychotic break!
Don't do it!
Baby just shoot him. Please.
Okay. Okay.
God!
Oh!
Bitch shot me!
Are you crazy?!
You told me to shoot him in the face.
I did- I didn't think you were really gonna shoot.
I was telling you as a diversion.
Well, then, you should have winked
or crossed your fingers or something.
Baby, I was a little busy trying not to die.
Oh my God, I shot Henry.
It's alright, he's just knocked out. He's not dead.
It's okay. - I shot Henry.
I need you to go to the basement...
What? - And get the duct tape.
- What? The duct tape? - There's duct tape downstairs.
Go downstairs and get the duct tape.
I can't move.
Come on, baby.
- I can't move. - It's okay, it's okay. It's okay.
- It's okay. He's gonna be okay. - Okay. Oh, I need a bourbon.
Maybe.
Spence, what is happening?
I'm about to find out.
- Wake up. - Stop it! You're hurting him.
Yeah. I think he'll be alright.
Sorry, I'm bleeding on your chair.
You just had it reupholstered, right?
Yeah.
You're under contract.
Contract? For what? For business?
Somebody hired him...
to kill me.
Oh, my God!
I thought we were friends.
Really? You never seemed that invested.
I covered for you with every client that we have.
I talked a half a dozen hussy girls out of slashing your tires.
I even drove you to the free clinic
when your balls were swollen and you had that fungal thing.
No. No, not really. - Hmm? Hmm?
I helped you bury Sir Barksalot.
Hey.
He was a good dog.
Alright? Leave him out of this.
He couldn't fetch for shit.
Spencer!
Yeah?
By the end of the day,
you're going to be just as dead as he is.
You got a twenty million dollar bounty on your head.
Oh, God.
Are you gonna faint?
Unless I puke first.
Breathe.
It's okay.
How is this okay?
I'll explain. Just not right now.
No you explain now.
I want you to explain right now.
Jen? Spence?
I'll get it. - Ssh! Wait.
Hello?
Yeah, that's it.
Be very quiet.
Maybe the other assassin'll go away. Shut up. Shh.
Yoo hoo!
It could be any of your neighbors.
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
What? You didn't think I'd have some competition?
Twenty million dollars buys a lot of patience.
Hello?
I can see your car.
Spencer it's just Jackie Vallero.
I know you're in there!
She just wants to talk about the property line or something.
Or kill you.
Hello?
You two. Hello?
Look, I'm here about the fence.
What do we do?
Go. Now.
Through the garage.
What about him?
Oh, no, no! Spencer! Stop!
If I don't, he'll come after us.
He's our friend.
He's a liar.
Down, down, down, down, down!
Okay!
Put your seat belt on.
I am! I am!
Jen!
Jen what's going on?
Is she holding a gun?
I can't tell.
Jen, everything alright?
Good morning!
Slow down!
Stop the car right now! I am getting out right here!
Hold on. Calm down. Sit down.
I have a right to freak out!
I don't even know who the hell you are!
It's me.
I just have a different resume.
Who do you work for? Is it the Mob?
I can't tell- If I tell you, they could kill you, too.
Oh, my. - Let's just say that I work...
for the blah-blah-blah and they gave me a license to blah.
- I need air, I need air right now. - Okay. Uh huh. Honey.
Honey, it was never my primary directive, okay?
Oh, my God. Are w- Are we even married?
I mean legally married.
- Not like married in your heart. - Yes, we're married! I got out!
I got out in France.
I was in the love bubble in France and you were...
I was in the love bubble, too, it's on the job?
Got something for you, Spence.
Oh, my God. Spread your legs.
Oh, no, you are not getting off that easy.
Spread 'em! - Okay!
Oh, my God!
Here.
Oh, my God! - Hold this.
Oh, God!
Great! - Hold on.
Yeah!
Thank you.
He's on my side! He's on my side!
Here we go now.
Oh, my God!
Oh, God.
Oh, cool! Racecars!
Yeah!
Damn!
That got him. You okay?
Uh huh.
Alright. - Yeah.
He's gonna be close behind.
Huh.
Oh, God.
Hide. - What?
Hide. Now.
Okay.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna kill him.
Ow!
Ah, oh!
Oh! God!
Whooooaahhhh!
Spence?
Spencer?
Get in the truck.
Is he-?
Yeah.
Start talkin'.
I was recruited in college, freshman year.
Why did they choose you?
They look for independent people, and after my parents passed...
I didn't have any family, so...
We gotta go, babe.
You can be pissed at me in the truck.
Are you gonna kill me too?
Honey, if I was gonna kill you, I'd've shot you back at the house.
Uh, that sounded weird, l-
Logically, you know that that's true.
Okay.
Spread 'em.
For God's sakes, what else do you have down there?
How many people, Spence?
Four...
teen.
Fifteen. It's fifteen.
Is fifteen your real number?
Or is that like when you ask a girl how many guys she's slept with...
and you have to double it and times it by ten?
I didn't do that. I'm just-
Fifteen is my number.
And they were all bad guys, as far as I know.
But it was getting harder to tell.
And then I met you.
And we fell in love, and I got out.
My old boss reached out to me yesterday.
He's staying at a hotel on Piedmont.
He'll know what's going on.
Sweetie, your gun is showing.
Well, where, where do you expect me to put it?
Have you seen the size of this thing?
Oh. It's my Dad. Should I take it?
Thought you said you were gonna change that.
Sweetheart, relax.
It's a little early to check on Spencer, don't you think?
And Jen will just be getting settled at the hotel.
Yeah. You're right.
Spence.
I got this off the...
Easy.
It's my old boss.
Holbrook.
It's two to the heart, one to the head.
That's old school training.
Had to be an experienced hitter.
Alright, judging from his body, it happened earlier this morning.
It's okay.
It's the adrenaline.
It'll go away in a little bit.
How can you talk about him like that?
You knew him.
It's my training baby. I'm sorry.
Spence, I can't stay in here. I think I'm gonna get sick.
Just give me a second, baby.
He had to have some information about the target.
You already looked there.
I'm missing something.
It's the watch.
It's wrong.
He'd never wear anything this flashy.
Nothing to get noticed.
Look at this.
It's broken, who cares?
No, no. It's a plug-in for like a flash drive or something.
It's missing.
You're right.
Someone's taken the drive.
Okay. Alright.
Let's go.
Do you think that Henry got to Holbrook?
No. Henry wasn't greenlit until this morning.
There was another shooter at the house.
I think we need to get out of here.
Absolutely.
And go to my parents.
No. - Yes.
No. - Yes!
- No. - Yes, my Dad will know what to do.
No, I'm, I used to do this for a living.
Okay, we do not want to involve your parents.
And we definitely don't need help from your Dad.
I think we do.
Because your plan to kill Henry and come see a dead guy,
- it's not really workin' out. - Now- l- Look,
I'm s- I shoulda seen this coming.
Of course, you're gonna rope your parents into this.
Oh. You were a spy and a double agent,
but I'm the bad guy, 'cause I want to call my parents?
Really?
We've been married for three years
and we'd never been more than five minutes away from your parents.
Do we have to do this right now? Come on.
They're always coming over.
And your Dad's all, all, "Well, like, yeah,
y- this is how the Kornfeldts, uh, load the dish-washer"
and "Mow the lawn clockwise 'cause that's the Kornfeldt Way."
"Take this piece of coal, stick it up your kiester,
squeeze it real tight like we do and you'll make a Kornfeldt diamond."
Okay, now hold up a minute, you're talking about my parents.
Yeah, and I'm your husband.
What are, what are we gonna do when we have our own kids?
Jen? Jen?
Just talk to me for a second... Iook I take it back.
I love your parents.
I'm, I'm sending them a mental hug right now.
Look. - Spencer!
Hey! You okay? - Hey, Pete.
Um, yeah, I'm good. Uh, hey, J-
Yeah. Your garage, it, it's, it's a wreck.
Wh- yeah. L- it was a par-party foul, the whole thing-
Yeah, you do realize we have the block party tonight
and it's, it's a r- it's a real eyesore.
Well, then, don't look at it, Pete!
Gardening supplies, pick up one seven two, please.
You can't just run off like that.
You make it impossible for me to protect you.
Little late for protection.
What?
Think about it.
My emotions are all over the place.
I'm picking up smells that half the canine unit would miss.
Plus... I pretty much feel like vomiting every time I breathe.
Baby, it's been a stressful day.
Explain these.
Aren't they always that big?
You take the pill every day.
I know, but I had strep last month, remember?
I had to take a Z-Pak.
Antibiotics knock out the pill,
that's why I told you we had to be careful.
I thought you were talking about my technique...
not gettin' knocked up.
Okay, you know what, don't yell at me,
sure shot, you're the one who suggested...
Naked Saturdays.
Can I help you?
- Stop it. Be nice. - What? What?
- She's staring at us - You're being rude, don't do that.
You know what?
Can we just- We're not in a library here.
Let's just pick up the pace.
Well, they're not all equally accurate, okay?
Well, it's crazy to just stand out here in the aisle,
so j- take one, take 'em all, I don't know, who cares?
I care! I care, Spence.
It would be awesome to know
if I am actually making a little being inside of me, okay?
And don't you call me crazy!
I'm- I'm not calling you crazy, I'm- This scenario is crazy.
- Standing here... - You know you're not helping...
Um, folks? Could I be of some assistance?
Yes!
Yes...
you can.
Um, uh...
Kevin. Which one of these is the most accurate?
Jen...
I don't think he's a pregnancy test expert.
Well, First Response seems to be pretty popular.
Um, can't seem to keep it on the shelf.
Here you go.
Okay.
Must be your first.
Pregnancy test?
Baby.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it may be your lucky day.
God! Stop it!
Looka there. It's on sale.
Great! That's great.
Let's go.
Thank you so much. Thanks.
I'm coming.
No judging.
I need to follow protocol and report Holbrook's termination.
We'll get a safe house.
You'll be protected there.
And I can figure out... who Holbrook's target was.
Maybe find out who set this whole thing in motion.
As long as I get to pee on the stick
and eat my delicious jerky, I'm in.
Great. Listen, there's one more thing.
And you can't be upset. I need to steal a car.
The truck's shot to shit.
Probably be the least awful thing we do all day, so, go for it.
God, I'm eating like I just got home from fat camp.
I'm glad you said it.
Really?
You wanna poke Momma Bear right now?
That seems like a good idea?
You know, you're kinda scary.
- Right now. I'm just saying. - Just make your phone call.
You are go for contact.
This is Zulu One Four Niner.
Sierra One Zero Zero has been forcibly retired prior to contact.
Please advise a secure location for briefing.
Hold for further instructions.
Zulu One Four Niner?
That's my code name.
It's just not very catchy.
Sorry, all the cool code names were taken.
Zulu One Four Niner, please confirm your contact and his status.
Sierra One Zero Zero and his status is "dead".
And I believe his target has put a hit on me.
Negative. Sierra One Zero Zero has no targets.
He is no longer an active agent.
Please provide your location and coord-
What happened?
Something's not right.
Where you going?
To search Henry's stuff and see if we can find out who hired him.
Maybe there's a connection to Holbrook.
Oh, and you can do your pee thing.
I got it. I'm in.
Nice.
Porn. Porn, porn. Poooorrrnnnn.
Porn.
People are so inventive.
They're, like, propped up there now.
Okay.
Okay how weird is this gonna get?
Because there are some things you cannot unsee.
That's a picture of Henry's dog, Sir Barksalot.
In costume?
I don't know.
Wait a minute.
Look at the size of these files.
Oh my God.
These are pictures from two years ago.
L- I mean this was the first block party we went to.
Whoever set this up was patient enough to imbed Henry
and God knows who else into my life.
Our life. - Our life.
Wait, wait?
I'm pretty sure your Dad took that one.
What is that supposed to mean?
Nothing. It's just an observation.
Yes, an observation about my father and that photo.
Because it's a picture that he took.
Okay, so now my Dad is a bad guy.
I definitely did not say that.
No, no, no, you're right, you're right,
- Oh, okay. - Because you're a liar and a hit man
- Alright. Here we go. Great. - And everyone probably is, too.
So I bet my Mom's in on it...
And, uh, Gammy Kornfeldt, yeah,
I think she's just messing with our minds,
you know, with the whole "I'm in a wheelchair" bit.
Okay, we are getting into some counterproductive territory here.
And I think we should move on to something else.
Like, well, like, the how, may- maybe,
maybe we should piss on a stick now.
That'd be a good idea.
It is a good idea, because I do have to pee.
Grab my gun.
Gr- You can't just walk out in-
You are aware people are trying to kill us?
I really have to go.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
For God's sakes, just turn the light on.
It's not like there's a lotta places to hide.
Just humor me.
Why, thanks.
I can't pee with you just standing there staring at me.
Honey you've peed in front of me a million times.
But there's a little more pressure now, don't you think?
Better?
No.
Really?
Ahhh.
Honey, please, can you just give me one minute?
It's gonna take a minute.
You can guard the door.
Hey!
Hey.
You're here.
I'm glad, look...
there's a problem with the Wynn Kay account.
June two thousand and eight, the billing?
You might want to take a look at it.
You know what? L- Let's forget the billing.
We'll just, we'll take care of it on Monday.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Okay.
Great.
Spence?
Hey! You, you stop it!
Stop it!
Yeah.
Honey, I don't, I don't know how to,
it's not, it's not shooting, I don't...
Oh God. L-
Ah!
Are you okay?
Baby, are you alright?
Shit. I'm outta am-mo.
Bullets before babies, huh?
Hey, ammo is kind of important right now.
What's it say?
What's two bars mean?
Hey. You gotta translate this for me.
Hey. Am I gonna be a dad?
I'm gonna be a mother.
But I'm not sure yet if you're gonna be a father.
Jen. Jen.
I know you're upset.
And you have every right to be, but I can't change who I was.
Where does that leave us?
We-we'll figure it out.
How?
I will keep you safe.
How? Tell me how and I will stay.
Uh.
It's over, Spence.
I know you don't want this to be over.
What I wanted stopped mattering the moment I saw those two bars.
Where you going?
Jen.
Jen!
Whoa!
Oh... Olivia!
Henry, who is calling you?
You gotta be kidding me.
Hey, Spence I got a package for you.
Relax buddy. Try a little decaf.
Come on around the other side for me.
Think it's that backordered fabric from Tucson.
Sure took its sweet time getting here, huh?
Yeah.
I just need your signature on the top there.
The pen.
Oh, yeah.
I think I got him.
Yeah, you got him.
Oh God.
I'm glad you're okay.
God, look at the windshield.
You must've really pissed him off.
Is anyone not trying to kill me?
Thanks.
Let's go steal a car.
So what do we do now?
I don't know.
Maybe some couples counseling.
No. Now, Spencer.
What do we do right now?
Right now? Right, okay, we- Yeah, right now.
Right now, we're gonna go to the house.
I got a go bag.
We got money, weapons, passposts.
We're set.
Why exactly do we have a go bag, Spencer?
Did you know this was gonna happen?
No. I didn't know.
- You're lying. You are lying. - No, I'm not lying.
Am I telling you everything?
No. I'm not telling you everything.
Okay, but we're married.
That's what married people do, honey.
They lie to each other.
They tell people things that aren't true to keep them safe and...
to protect one another when they ask things
like if they have their mother's arms.
Not... that you have your mother's arms,
I'm not-
You lied to me the first time we met...
No, I didn't.
Unless your Dad is a Russian pervert.
Well, I came clean about that.
You didn't.
You did not come clean.
I did, too! - No, you didn't.
I told you- I can't help that you were sleeping.
I didn't know that you sleep like a dead person.
Oh come on!
Well, uh, I, the, for all I know you heard everything I said.
Based on what?
Based on...
your leg was twitching.
God! You know, this is perfect.
This is just perfect.
You couldn't have just been hiding tranny...
porn in the crawl space
like Suzy Brent's husband Murray.
Really? Murray Brent?
No. No, no, no, you...
- had to be a spy. - That son of a bitch.
I can't believe I married a spy.
What am I? Pussy of Galore?
Not that I know...
Excuse me?
You're gonna complain now about our sex life?
Is that what you're doing?
I'm not complaing about the sex! That's what you're gonna do now?
Pull the car over! We'll have sex right now!
No! We're going to my parents'. Let's get it on!
We are going to my parents! No.
I'm taking us to my parents' house.
No. We are not going to your parents' house.
- Yes. Yes, we are. - We are not.
I said "yes!"
Listen to me. We can not go to your parent's.
You have to trust me.
I love you. And I will protect you.
Now, you did a great job of finding a car.
I need you to point it at the house and step on it.
Okay, fine.
I'm st- I'm stepping on it and it's not- it's, it's not going.
It's sto- it's stopping, actually, it's starting to- Oh.
Great.
Didn't notice the, uh, blinking fuel light?
You're right. I apologize.
Topping off the tank should have been my first priority.
Run.
Run!
Go, go that way!
Darn it!
- It's locked! It's locked! - Well, stop pulling it!
I missed! - Really?
Run! Run!
Twenty millionnnnn!
You got him, sweetie!
Yeah! Yeah!
Oh!
Come on.
What? Those Volvos are amazing.
Yeah.
Shit! - The block party.
Stay close. Keep moving.
Ring toss! Ring toss! Three tries for a dollar!
Walnut muffin?
This way! Step up! Try your luck!
Everyone's a winner!
Winner! Winner! We got a winner!
Pop a balloon, win a prize!
Three darts for a dollar!
Corn dogs!
Get your corn dogs!
Hey! You guys! Hey, Spence-Spence.
Ma'am. - Jen-Jen. Jen-Bear.
Where you guys goin'?
They got corn dogs.
They got regular...
Oh! Really?
And they got bacon-covered.
Hey. Honey, there's no way she's packing heat.
Oh, you'd be surprised where people hide stuff.
Guys, can I use the bathroom in your house?
Number one.
- Where is the go bag? - In the office.
Stay away from the windows, okay?
The safe is underneath the carpet.
And the combination's our anniversary.
Where are you going?
To get the guns.
Oh. Get the guns.
More guns. That's great.
Botilda Walfridsson? Ooh, I'm Swedish! That's nice.
Spence.
Spencer, is that you?
Spence? Spencer, is that you?
Oh, God! Mom!
Hey, you know, it is actually not a great time.
You think?
Kristen? Oh, you know, actually, that kinda makes sense.
Okay, lower your gun or it's last call for Mommy.
I told you. She's not a nice girl.
You told her that?
That's very rude.
Goddamn it! Who is up there?
I don't know.
If somebody shoots Mister Perfect before I have...
the chance to, I will kill you both, on principle.
Lower your gun now.
Check it out, honey.
Lily!
No!
Just let my Mom go, okay, I am all the leverage you need.
I didn't spend the last three years
listening to you babble incessantly about...
your perfect little life to F it all up now.
So get in the living room, both of you.
Let's go. Let's go!
Let's go.
Turn around.
Come here, dear.
Come on.
You okay? You alright?
Jen, to be fair...
we did have some good times.
Yeah.
Remember when-
Oh, there you are, dear.
Answer the phone sir.
My dead best friend wants to let you know
that your target's still alive.
Stand down Spencer.
Whoa, hey, guys.
He killed Holbrook.
Two to the heart, one to the head, remember?
And then he pulled the trigger on me.
Daddy, is that true?
I put sleepers in your life,
because I didn't trust your husband.
I hoped I'd never have to use it.
It's the flash drive from Holbrook's watch.
It's all there.
His old boss turned dirty.
And in your office, when I saw that card with...
his name on it, I knew...
you were back in the game and you were coming after me.
So I activated the killers.
I'm not trying to kill you, sir.
Why don't you tell her about Nice where you tried to blow me up?
How do you know about Nice?
I was supposed to be on that helicopter.
When I saw you I didn't go.
So you said you got out when we met in France.
You said you were in the love bubble.
I got out. I'm out.
Just look at him. Does he look like he's out?
It was my last job. I'm out.
I got out. For us.
And I'm never going back.
So you are not a pilot?
Is that what we're-?
Daddy enough! Put your gun down.
I have been dodging bullets all day,
thanks to you, and it is not good for the baby.
You have a baby?
No, I'm going to.
Oh, I knew it!
Let's celebrate. - Okay.
I'm gonna be a grandpa.
Yes!
Oh, God.
Oh my God.
And you are the father?
Oh, for God's sakes, Dad.
Oh my God.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Okay.
This would be a great time for a trust circle.
Trust circle? - Yes.
No. - Yeah.
Yeah, let's do that, okay, let's gather, everybody.
Dad, pull up a chair. Mother join us.
Okay.
I don't do trust circles.
Uh, I know, Mother, but I think that this is necessary.
Humor me. Okay.
I finally understand
that I am not to blame for this dynamic.
No. - Okay?
You are.
And you need to own that.
I need to own the fact that I unwittingly married...
the one man who is exactly like my father.
A liar.
So, if any of you wanna ever see this kid,
this is what's gonna happen.
Okay? There will be no more lying.
No more stealing cars or hiding weapons in the furniture.
And I never want to see you two try to kill each other again.
Okay? In fact, there will be no more killing.
I don't want to see you swat a fuckin' fly.
Okay? Alright?
We all together on this?
Yeah. - Yeah?
'S a great job, baby.
Hoo! Huh. Is there anything else?
That I need to or should know?
Anyone?
Spencer.
English is not my first language.
Oh, uh, and, and also the...
third week that we were together,
you said, "I love you" in your sleep.
And I didn't tell you, because...
I wanted to be the one who said it first.
I'm sorry.
Thank you, honey.
Mom?
Hmm?
Mmm.
Um... now
dear, you remember that time that I took you
and your little friend for a boat ride?
No.
No? Well, forget it then. We're good.
Okay.
Okay, fine, in addition to planting killers in your life and...
secretly working for a government agency,
I would like to admit...
Yoohoo!
Jen?
We need to talk about that darn property line.
Hi, Jen.
Ow.
Uh, sweetie, I don't think she was a killer.
Oh, I know.
Red wire crosses blue, good as new.
Blue crosses red, good as dead. I know. It's my saying.
That's not your saying, that's my saying.
You copied me.
I copied- I have not copied you a day in my life.
Really?
I think it's coming in nice, don't you?
No.
He likes it. Don't you, buddy?
You like Daddy's moustache don't you?
Don't you like that moustache?
How's my little big guy doing?
I'm great.
Except for your Dad thinks I'm copying him, which I'm not.
Will you please tell him I'm not copying him?
Sorry, sweetie, every girl marries her father.
Oh, that's not gross.
Oh, I certainly did.
Oh, my father was one handsome man.
Well built. Rippling muscles.
His moustache was a lot larger than yours, though.
Thick. Like a Balkan forest.
Well, that's nice mother,
but you're here to babysit, not creep me out.
So if you wouldn't mind?
Oh, hi!
Yeah, Grandma's a little scary.
Yep. Maybe, maybe it's too soon.
Maybe we should just stay.
No... no, it's not too soon.
We're not staying, it's date night.
We're gonna go out. It's gonna be great.
I'm in my skinny jeans.
Don't worry, Spencer, you can trust us.
Well, if we can't trust them, who can we trust?
Right? - Right.
Bye, buddy.
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